Maintaining a Happy Relationship with Your Partner
A very important aspect in anyone’s life is maintaining a happy relationship with your partner. Healthy relationships play a huge part in how we feel and have the ability to affect our relationships with others, especially other members of the family. A long term relationship doesn’t come easily and it is important that both people work on the relationship constantly.
I am no relationship expert but I have been with my partner for 20 years and although all relationships go through hard times, I do believe we have an extremely strong relationship based on solid foundations and constant respect and work from both parties. Happy relationships are vital for ourselves, our partners and also our children. Our children are constantly watching and listening and it is important we set good examples to show them that a successful relationship requires certain elements to remain constant.
To be honest, sometimes you and your partner are just working it out as you go. Once you are past the initial floaty stage where you are both completely loved up, things settle down. You learn each other’s little quirks and idiosyncrasies. You see each other’s good and bad sides, your shortcomings, and your amazing qualities. To keep healthy relationships, they then require more work and insecurities can creep in. Factors such as new jobs, mortgages, kids, friends, and family can all affect partnerships over time. Things that didn’t annoy you before can start to niggle at you. But there are things that you can do to maintain successful relationships over the long term and keep building happy relationships for you and your family.
So how can we go about maintaining a happy relationship?
Understand each other
It isn’t always easy but worth it. In order to have happy relationships, we need to do our best to understand the other person. That can be hard when you are angry but empathy is very important. You and your partner are different people and sometimes can want different things or place priorities on different things. It is important that you try to understand where your partner is coming from. It is important to allow each other to feel respected and valued. You won’t always see eye to eye but trying to understand their perspective in a situation can help. When you can’t understand each other, take 5 minutes apart or go for a walk and come back and try to talk again. Appreciating your partner for being different and thinking differently helps a lot. You both love each other and respect each other but you are different people so it is important to try to understand your different perspectives on certain situations or issues.
In any long-term relationship, it is important that you both can compromise. To keep building happy relationships you need to be able to allow each other to add value and work together to settle any dispute or issue. I believe that it is important for my children to see that we can both work together to find a solution. Our children understand that our relationship is not perfect and that sometimes mummy and daddy fight. The most important thing I teach them is that we work it out. We discuss and then help work out the solution. Pushing issues aside doesn’t help and resentment can form. Building healthy relationships is about working together and both adding value to working through the problems.
It is no surprise to find that trust in a relationship is a key point. All relationships are built on trust. All successful relationships require trust to be there always. One trust is broken it is very difficult to get a happy relationship back on track. Trust isn’t just about being faithful to one another. Trust is also about sharing with your partner. It might be about sharing your fears, or experiences in your life. We don’t want everyone to see our faults or insecurities so having trust that your partner will not use them against you is an important key factor in any long term relationship. Trust can take years to build and can be taken away very quickly.
Every successful relationship needs constant and clear communication. Did you know that couples who spend time talking with each other have more successful relationships? Communication in relationships is a key factor and it needs to happen in the good and bad times. It is important that you learn how to communicate better with each other. Sometimes during arguments, we tend to remember all the negative things said. It is important to take time after to communicate with each other and talk rationally and calmly to work through any problems or grievances. It is also important that once the kids are in bed, put down the devices and talk to each other. Couples who talk, have a better understanding of each other and can help each other work through things.
Shared Experiences and Alone Time
Having healthy relationships means making sure you take time out for each other. Organised things that you both like to do or something that you know your partner loves to do mean you can spend quality time together and get to know each other better. My husband has many passions that I am not that interested in but I know how much they mean to him. Sometimes doing something we both enjoy like dinner and a movie is lovely and other times we enjoy each other’s hobbies and passions.
Support and Respect Each Other
People who are in happy relationships make sure that there is lots of positive support for one another. Everyone loves being told when they have done a great job in something or when someone really takes the time to listen. Supporting and showing your partner that their achievements are important to you also, gives such a boost. Mutual respect for each other and what you both value is very important.
Building healthy relationships is important for you and your partner, but also for your family. I have recently written about building effective relationship for the whole family